Punk rock story of the day

This isn't exactly NYC centric, but tough noogies, this 4 year old downed his mommy's beer then stole his neighbors presents so you have to read about it (he was later apprehended wondering the streets wearing a brown dress from one of the packages, so yeah, he's cooler than you).

The headline reads "4-Year-Old Runs Wild: A child roams the neighborhood, beer in hand," which is awesome enough, but not to be outdone the oh-so-serious news analyst utters the line of the day:

“[The mother's] not sure how her 4 year old managed to escape, open a beer, and steal her neighbors presents from under their tree"

which all in all is pretty incredible. When i first tried beer i was probably 11 and made it through like 3 sips, this kid managed to finish half a beer AND break into his neighbors home to steal their presents, he'll make somebody a great 'rut partner someday